Why Is It Hard To Be An Extroverted Introvert?

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So, you’re in a room full of people, at a party most probably. Someone approaches you (or you approach someone for some reason). You don’t feel anxiety, you don’t feel shy, you talk to that person as if you’ve been friends for years. That’s the extroverted part of you. After a couple of minutes of nice chit-chat, that person goes away. Minutes pass, you’re standing/sitting alone.  You have no urge to communicate with others. You take a sip of what you’re drinking, watch the crowd, listen to the music, and try the food. No one approaches you, and you’re glad. You kind of wish you had stayed home and watched a movie. That’s the introverted part. The moment someone does approach you, you awaken your own little extrovert. Again, you communicate with no boundaries whatsoever.

It sounds great, doesn’t it?

Nope.

First of all, people don’t understand. You go to parties, and you sing and dance and mingle with people and all of a sudden, in everybody’s eyes, you’re an extrovert. The moment you decline a couple of invitations to concerts or parties, people start gossiping that you’re „getting weird“. They’re asking you if you’re feeling fine. They judge you for not going out when they thought you would. That’s the worst part. I mean, sometimes you would enjoy reading (a bad) book more than going to (a bad) concert, and that’s fine. And some of the people you know will understand. But mostly they won’t.

How extroverts see you is really funny. Friday and Saturday nights are just not your thing sometimes. You try your best not to set off negative vibes on those days, but it often seems as if you don’t succeed. For you, it’s just too crowded, too noisy, and you pray to God some of your friends will get bored soon. But they don’t. And you can’t leave them all of a sudden. It’s hard to explain to the extroverts that you, who like concerts and being with a lot of friends, are feeling anxious.

How introverts see you is even funnier. You’re something like their PR manager. You completely understand their anxieties and how frightened they are when they need to communicate with the outside world. We all feel that way sometimes. So, from time to time, you take it as your duty to communicate with the outer world when they don’t feel like it. Honestly, it’s really nice to know someone with whom you can grab a cup of coffee on Friday or Saturday afternoon knowing it doesn’t have to end up as a late-night circus out on the town.

Now, I hope I have made it a little bit more clear how extroverted introverts (at least my type) function. And please, never judge people when they don’t feel like going out, don’t try to persuade them that it’s going to be fun, never say that they seem depressed (saying that won’t solve anything) and always respect their decision whether they’re introverts, extroverts, or something in between.

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