The Problem with Money and Relationships

Money and relationships can cause some issues, so we are here to examine how we can find solutions in those tough situations.

It was before 2000 BC. Civilisations were flourishing. It was the age of bronze metallurgy and the potter’s wheel in Europe, the age of mathematics, philosophy, textile production and gold mining for ornaments in the Eastern parts of the world, people went about their work peacefully and mostly bartered what they grew or made to meet their needs. 

Metal objects were sometimes used to buy things.

Mainly, it was what man and woman made together that was bartered, be it textiles, food by means of agriculture, cattle breeding or food via hunting, yes women were as badass as men and hunted side by side. Man and woman lived peacefully. 

The safety net was the community they lived in. It was one for all and all for one.

And then came money! The earliest observation of money was as tiny cakes pressed out of salt with the image of the Grand Khan, the Mongol emperor.

These salt coins were used by Khan to pay his warriors. Hence, it’s what we call salary.

Fast forward to 270 BC and gold coins began being mounted by the Indo-Greeks to pay their soldiers.

For the most part, man and woman still worked hand in hand even at this time.

Advance to today, barring a few tribes who live the way our ancient ancestors did, most of us work for other people and our income depends on the opportunities for literacy, the whims of the employer – some corporations are known to work you down to the bone, the economy of the country you live in and many other factors. 

In this article we shall delve into how finances affect relationships.


Together or Separate?

This study talks about the top six relationship-killing money issues.

Briefly put, they have gone fairly deep into what’s “yours – ours – mine”, debts relating to mortgages – car loans – other financial baggage, conflict due to the personality of each partner, power plays between partners, children and the role of extended families. 

While the idealists among us may say, “money doesn’t buy happiness”, love among many quickly gets corroded once financial hardship hits. 

Over here, couples would do well to have honest discussions about priorities if adversity comes and not allow financial fatigue to get the better of you. 

Looking a little below the surface, when we have disagreements about money, the differences or even conflicts are likely to be a reflection of our core values and they often manifest when financial difficulties arrive.

Based on surveys conducted, about 72% of the couples have experienced financial difficulties at some point or another and 31% admitted to having a serious animosity against each other while a higher percentage agreed it led to bickering and even quarrels during such times. 

Eventually, a fair percentage headed for a divorce.

Statistically, 22% deeply regret getting divorced and miss their partners and a small percentage get back together. 



As for the rest, once the knives are out, a large percentage do all that is within their means to destroy each other predominantly because they are so wrapped up in their own emotions that they entirely forget to feel the emotions of the other and  the tender moments they experienced with each other.

Yet another study has this to say:

Romantic relationships are built on trust, but partners are not always honest about their financial behaviour – they may hide spending, debt, and savings from one another. 

“This article introduces the construct of financial infidelity, defined as “engaging in any financial behaviour expected to be disapproved of by one’s romantic partner and intentionally failing to disclose this behaviour to them.”

Money appears to have a great effect on our morality and generates a considerable amount of power play between couples.

Mental conditioning on account of our upbringing and the norms of society has also seen to it that when the woman of the house earns more, it affects the man so much that it leads him to stress and anxiety. 

According to this study, men appear to be satisfied when the woman earns 40% and he 60%.  

Money is here to stay.

For those who think of their relationship as the treasure above all else, money is only a tool to buy essentials and material comforts, sometimes more and other times less.

Want more from this author? How about Is Multitasking Really a Good Thing?

Is Multitasking Really A Good Thing?

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