The Dark Side of Marriage We Don’t Talk About

The pressure from society on women before 30 and after 30 is a disservice to the institution of marriage and womanhood. Aside from the pressure society gives, how well is the society preparing these women for divorce, violence, childbirth, financial freedom, and other possible experience to go through in marriage? These conversations only take place when these issues are ongoing.

Marriage is a good thing but is it necessarily bad if a woman is single at the expected age to be married? Aside from meeting societal demands, people marry for different reasons, for the sense of security, companionship, to start a family, financial benefits, mutual love, and other personal reasons.

Being married is not a guarantee that your life will become less difficult. Marriages do not always end happily ever after just as we have seen from our childhood in cartoons like Cinderella and Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs


Societal Pressure to Get Married

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Divorce is on the rise globally. Dominic Nguyen writes in the article on Unified Lawyer, “Divorce rates have seen a significant increase from 12% in 1960 to 48% in 2022.”  The statistics remain the same even in well-developed countries. According to the United States’ National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 4-5 million people get married every year in the U.S and approximately 42-53% of those marriages eventually end in divorce.  

Some abusive attitudes in marriages over time when downplayed can become critical, such as aggression, jealousy, insecurity, and others. Records have it that over 90% of the perpetrators are males. 

There are so many things involved in making a marriage work so that it will not end in divorce or become abusive. This is to mention just a few. This knowledge must come beforehand but society has failed.

People have found themselves in early marriages by adhering to the demand of society, not sure of what they stand for, why they took that step, and are clueless about what it takes to make it worth it.  


Self Love & Marriage

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Maybe it is time we push the same energy of the pressure we give to single women to educate them on loving themselves, becoming better as individuals and unlocking the possible difficulties ahead of them so that they choose to marry when they are ready to. 

Being single is not a shortcoming. Over the years research has proven that unmarried people appear to be healthier than their married counterparts. Singleness also gives individuals, be it men or women, the freedom to learn, grow, and explore, without the guilt of being self-centered. You get to know yourself more during this phase and knowing yourself helps you to love yourself, plus your ability to love yourself helps you to know how you want to be loved by another. 

We have an individual purpose that is not solely tied to being married. There is an existing controversy that marriage can prevent you from achieving your dreams. On that note, maybe being single gives you all the time and place to how big you can dream. 

Marriage is not the real deal; the real deal is finding yourself, knowing your capabilities, and making them work for you.

The spouse you choose is the second most important choice you will make in life. You do not need to be rushed. You are not accountable to society; choose a spouse that believes in you and you can vouch to support you in your dreams. Society will be okay at the end of the day.


Photo: Julia Pavaliuk/Shutterstock


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