We feel guilty whenever we are unable to fulfill the expectations of our parents, such as failing a text or failing to gain admission to our parents' desired college. Their random rants, “that is not the best for you”, “my hard-earned money will not go to waste”, and “you do what I tell you to do” among others can constantly get stuck in your head and question your confidence to choose what you desire.
Onset from childbirth, children are dependent on their parents, and become their responsibility. Out of love or over-protection parents want to have a say in their children’s future. By doing this, they effortlessly extend their dreams to the kids expecting them to achieve them. The challenge is at what stage must parents lower their control for children to take up that responsibility.
How to Overcome the Control
Research shows that in order to maximize the chances of your happiness and success, the field that you choose must match your interest and your natural talents. Clearly, you are single-handedly accountable for your success.
In order not to play blame games and bring conflicts in the future, carry your parents along with what you desire to do. Communicate with your parent, be true to yourself, and let them know what you want to do by referencing your skills over time and your passion. Out of fear people hide their abilities but no parent would prefer to have an unhappy child. Believe in what you want and be committed to it. Your commitment to your work can cause your parents to believe in your dreams as well.
Success in a career choice is not a sure and sudden thing. Success differs from person to person. Would you want to lose focus or live in regret while you fulfill your parents’ expectations or rather believe in your capabilities and push yourself to the finish line knowing you did it? This is not to say your parents can not have a say but be 100 percent sure you are in for what they want you to do because the execution relies on you.
How to Know Your Purpose
Author Dr. Myles Munroe puts this into three steps
- Your purpose is whatever makes you angry.
- What will you do without being paid?
Ideally, you either find solutions to what makes you angry or run away from them. He explains that whatever makes you angry constantly needs you to fix it.
The answer to the second question will save you years of wasted time and confusion.
Search deeper within, you will find your keen interest.
There are so many more careers yet to be uncovered. Let’s go back in time, what if all the people you admire in academia, entrepreneurship, and the entertainment industry did not pursue what they enjoy doing? Steve Jobs had all the reasons to quit after his unsuccessful Apple Lisa in 1983 but we all know the story today. It might be a lonely journey to pursue something out of the norm but rest assured if you do it well, you will receive a standing ovation from the people around you and possibly the world.
The Cycle Must End with Us
Our struggles as we defy the status quo should constantly remind us to do better. The world must receive the full potential of every individual. As we journey in life we will become parents as well. Let us consciously get to know the interest of our children and the kids around us so we can advise and nurture them to believe in their capabilities.
We can keep a diary of our journey; all the times we were unsure and the times we were certain, as a gift to them. It’s about time aside from relying on the internet to find solutions when kids are unsure of themselves and are limited to asking their parents. The urge to repeat the mistakes of our parents might come strongly to us; this is to remind us that we must consciously work on not adding up to the backlog but encourage and push them to follow their dreams.
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