Not only that, people who hold a grudge are known to carry negative energies that compound the effect and makes them lose friends. This energy is unconsciously perceived by most and a majority of people, as a self protection mechanism, keep away. While spirituality has taught us for thousands of years that the quality of being able to forgive and move on is a testimonial to one’s good character, let us see what science has to say.
Harbouring grudges drastically increases the level of stress hormone cortisol, and on the other hand what some call the parasympathetic nervous system, comes into play when we create feelings of peace within ourselves and increase the levels of oxytocin, we automatically invite a positive response from most. In fact oxytocin is also known as the love drug due to the fact that large doses are released by the mother during childbirth and thereafter while nursing. Those who ‘habitually’ release good amounts of oxytocin, serotonin and melatonin quite naturally invite closeness with other individuals, generate their own happiness and sleep peacefully.
According to Dr. Coutney B. Johnson a neuropsychologist at the Indiana University Health, some people have the habit of holding grudges and constantly thinking of the events that led to to the grudge. She further goes on to explain the connection between grudges and cortisol.
Let us now delve a little into the personality type of those who habitually hold grudges. They have a tendency not to look after themselves, even physically. They spend a good part of the day complaining. They automatically build up anger, animosity and other such emotions within themselves. In short they become a pain in the neck. So why wouldn’t others keep away from them? It’s also a recognized fact that the ones who build up a good harmonious family life and a social life tend to live healthier lives.
Chronic complainers chronically increase their own stress level. Apart from many other associated problems with stress, they tend to increase their own heart rate and their own fears. They also tend to give out a specific body odour driving others away. All this, not counting the effect they have on their near and dear ones.
Humans can register fear in an individual not just with their eyes and ears, but unconsciously, also through smell. The question here is if the ones who hold onto grudges, chronically, have a different body odour.
The times we live in, stress is anyhow the greatest cause of most illnesses. Holding a grudge means exactly that, holding on to something. In this case something entirely unwanted. The best way probably is to have adequate self esteem and move into a better setting of life.