Does Music Affect Your Dating Life?

You've heard about love at first sight, but what about love at first sound? Here, we look at how music and dating go together.

Picture this: You are an eligible lover, having a great time on a date at a local café. You feel your toes tingle every time your date mutters a specific word or your heart beats faster when you share a chuckle. 

The lovely conversation shifts to a more serious tone as commonality begins to surface. However, you find that both individuals share more differences. At this point in the date, do you lose interest?  

When a person falls madly in love with another individual, senses become heightened. Attraction can start from an intense scent of a person. 

Physical components such as eye colour, bone structure, body type are other aspects that can form attraction. Research even explains that individuals are consciously and subconsciously selecting attraction to partners based on other combinations such as social roles, proximity, and character. 

However, what about attraction through sound? According to, attraction can start through the ears as the brain processes genetic and or physical traits that a person might find alluring. For music lovers, are you attracted to individuals with the same music taste? 


Playlist Attraction?

If you ask a musician or even a hardcore music listener what their ideal relationship partner would be, odds are they would prefer someone who loves music as much as they do. 

Additionally, they may explain that their partner music understands the emotional dynamics music artists can create within a relationship. For many music lovers, this can be vital if not, absolutely critical. 

This notion of dating and attraction based on music may show up in ways we never even thought of previously. For example, can a person’s choice in music make or break a date? In today’s music streaming world, playlists such as Spotify playlists are mere representations of an individual’s musical choices, but almost can be an expression of their values and personality. 

The playlist could even serve as a glimpse into future relationships. Music can be seen as a soundtrack of everyday life. With overlapping music preferences, music could be a strong defining factor in how an individual views the concept of love or relationships. 

But music can be a soundtrack of a relationship in its entirety. From the beginning, middle, and toward the potential end of the relationship, the music a couple shares can indicate how each party feels internally, without expressing their emotions externally. This is a good example of musical communication. 

We have seen forms of music communication through movies, and even musical scoring. Through cinematic history, music has aided emotions being presented within the scene.  


Dating Apps

A strong component in this modern world of dating is dating apps. Individuals have been captivated by notifications of their phones from apps such as Tinder, OkCupid, and Grindr. According to a student conducted by the Pew Research Center, 48% of 18-29-year-olds used a dating app. 

Additionally, the study proclaimed that 54% of Americans believe that relationships that start on dating apps have higher success rates than if one was to start a relationship without dating apps. 

Creating a Tinder profile can be one of the most stressful things known to the dating world. However, Tinder has very interesting features! In the past years, Tinder has managed to implement to users the ability to specify their music preference in their profiles. This notion is a collaboration with Spotify and even Apple Music. 

Throughout my dating life, music has been an important factor. Some people would believe that living situation, career or even political views, would be a strong deciding factor of further attraction. Not for me. 

Through humble experiences, the music tastes of users were greatly influencing my swiping of left or right. 

A potential lover with admiration and extreme love for mainstream music would completely lower my attraction levels almost instantly. The dates that expressed their love for indie artists, similar artists, and even expressed similar opinions towards the music industry, were the cherry on top, the factors that propelled me to wanting future dates with the individual.


Don’t Be Superficial

However, this notion can be very superficial. Realistically, not everyone agrees with music preference. Having musical taste be a definitive point of attraction, but could make an individual miss out on someone really special! 

Throughout varying societies, individuals have been conditioned into believing that one can tell a lot about compatibility based on someone’s interest. But why is this so important? 

Other people can find dating someone with similar interests annoying and a bit boring. This positive notion can lead to a more well-rounded relationship! 

The idea that both individuals can constantly learn from one another is exciting!  It’s important to understand that varying interests in a relationship is a great way to become a better listener, thinker, and overall lover. 

It guarantees more “never a dull moment” and less “should I continue this relationship?” questioning. Music preference can be merely surface level from attraction towards another individual. The bonding over music becomes completely secondary as the relationship progresses rather than fundamental.

So, music can be very important to attraction. Music can be a commonality in which furthers the relationship to even greater realms. 

However, different music tastes should not weaken the dating process. It is important to understand that learning to appreciate many different music genres and musical perspectives, creates a more well-rounded individual and music listener.

Want more from Isaac? Here he is discussing how music can help a long-distance relationship.

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